It’s finally happened. My neighbors have sprung their trap, and the assassination begins.

I should probably run screaming, but they’ve gone to so much trouble for so long. It seems almost rude. And I can’t help but admit that they’ve piqued my curiosity.

Like if Isabelle will be there.

Oooh, right. That.

I mean, they could just be using it as a cover and that cake might be poisoned. But I didn’t even think about what day it was.

Or they might just blow me up. Praying that I wait until I get home to open it, but knowing that the others will honor their sacrifice if I don’t.

I certainly hope so, Daisy. It is the only birthday wish I can think of that you might be able to help with.

Oh wow. I think this is new. Which means… I might have to wait years to get the whole collection of birthday items. Which is absolutely infuriating to a collector.

Well, at least it’s not the New Years’ shirts. Exclusive items, once a year for like 50 years. Because that was a crock if I ever heard one.

Awwww. You sarcastic little rascals, you.

Fucking finally.

I have been waiting so long for this moment. This momentous occasion.

The moment where I put my white carnations on display and forget they exist.


And show it off to random visitors! Almost forgot!

On to farming beetles!

I’ll never use this, but I must have it.

I must have all of it.

That’s what we all tell ourselves, isn’t it?

Tom, that is my Goddamn chair. You stay the Hell away.

It probably doesn’t even have room for your tail.

So over the course of the week, my white carnation strategy evolved into using the golden watering can on top of the golden shovel and fertilizer.

That seemed to be working.

Then I put the reds and the pinks together, as some aren’t sure which combination produces white hybrids.

At this rate I’m guessing I’ll have a town with just red and pink carnations. Which I think I’m OK with.

Maybe I’ll keep the blue roses.

I really need to get Portia to leave. I don’t know I’d do if Bob or Punchy showed up on my campgrounds and there was no room for him.

Oh goddammit.


Ah, the perfect device for watching hentai. I almost wish such a device actually existed.

See now: I always figured Chrissy drank her coffee black. Soaking up the bitterness that matches her soul.

Bitch, I gave you that monitor myself. You best keep it right where it is.

Kapp’n: reinforcing societal pressures to conform to gender stereotypes.

When he’s not hitting on underaged girls, I mean.

Again Marina: have you even seen our town lately?

There is part of me that greatly hopes this doesn’t just apply to my game. So, so many thunderstorms.

You know, I hardly ever talk with Phyllis in the post office. I really think she’s get a bad rap. Yeah, she has a grumpy attitude, but if you’ve ever had to work with the general populace in any sort of service industry, you could totally relate.

…though giving her customers carcinogenic furniture in revenge seems like a bit much.

No, it seems that Nintendo’s DLC is getting into astrology, so its furniture has the cancer symbol and the little crab thing. Which, obviously makes me very happy, given my rabid fandom towards a series with a lot of connections to astrological symbols: Kid Icarus Uprising.

God I love that game.

Sorry Gabe Newell. I’ve got better shit to do.

Oh wow. A basic-looking wardrobe with gaudy colors on the knobs. Totally worth the asking price.

Isabelle: your unwillingness to acknowledge the superiority of American holidays is really irksome. I don’t care if you have a bunch of fireworks displays planned for later in the summer. I demand you cater to my culture specifically at all times.

Oh no.

Please no.

Reader, I’m not sure if you understand Coco like I do, so let me break it down for you.

The opposite of peace is war and conflict.

War and conflict occurs between humans and (sometimes) between other sentient animals.

Ergo: you get rid of those things and you have peace.

Smart thinking Kiki. Do me a favor and let me stow away in your luggage, OK?

Patriotic Stephen Colbert.

Patriotic Stephen Colbert.

  1. Camera: Nintendo 3DS

Think I’m going to stop paying Katrina. Pretty sure she’s just fucking with me at that point.

You’ll be happy to know that I’m putting my new golden net to good use.

Even though I think I prefer Scoot’s catchphrase when he’s itchy.


Oh, um: still doing DLC, eh Nintendo?

On the 27th.

But who can complain about smoked meat?

You know: I had an islander named Flash back in the GameCube era. He was fun because he romanticized everything. Everything was always so dramatic and metaphorical and beautiful.

Julian reminds me of him.

Oh great! Here I was thinking that Scoot and Marina and all the neighbors I care about were going to start asking me to move. Or that Coco would reconsider her decision! I’m so glad to avoid all that hassle.

Portia, it’s like I always say: if a plan to get someone to reveal they care whether you live or die backfires, at least have the dignity to go through with it. Otherwise you just look pathetic.

It took over a year. An entire year of exploring this town, day after day, picking weeds. Without a Beautiful Town Ordinance for most of it.

Totally worth it though.

Yes yes. That also sparkles with me Chrissy. Sunshine rainbow unicorns and all that.

Hee hee hee.

What have I even unleashed? I mean, if she thinks Shi’tton is a ‘happy’ town, then she’s clearly even more twisted and evil than I had hoped.

Sure, why not? I mean, yes: there was a time when I thought you were an agent of Jacques who was spying on me to help him to plot my demise. But now that Jacques himself just spies on me whenever I go shopping, what does it even matter?

Gracie, your creativity in names for your fashionable designs never ceases to amaze me.

Oh yes Today is finally the day.

I am so going to stick this somewhere and completely forgot about it.

Awwww yeah.

I get it Daisy. The hair’s looking a little femme. You don’t have to rub it in.

Oh yeah, I remember that. It was certainly an odd way to start off New Leaf, finding out that the day/night cycle could be that messed up. And another sign that Shi’tton is probably in Alaska or something of the like.

It also is the Bug Off. Which is about damn time, let me tell you. But I guess it also means that crickets and moths won’t be a regular entry.

Oh, Isabelle. I… guess when there’s another event, you’re stuck here, huh? I’m glad the developers thought to include that, I guess.

And has specific things to say about the overlap. Nice touch.

Damn girl. You wait an entire year to finally start hitting on me? I gotta say: I admire that patience. But we’ve wasted so much time now! If only I’d known sooner!

Don’t even pretend that this board up here is your work, Nat. You probably even had Isabelle set up the tent for you. I know your type.

Oh you have no idea.

Here, the developers give us a little tip: probably shouldn’t take the item you worked a year to earn and sell it or throw it in the trash.

And then there’s the more useless advice your neighbors give you.

You and I both know I have no idea which way’s downwind Marina.

Honestly Coco: I assumed you could summon them yourself. In swarms. To devour your enemies.

Great Saiyaman outfit.
Dragon Ball.